Iron Bowl and Masculine Identity.

*Warning this post contains subjective introspective speculation.

I have lived and continue to live in the Birmingham Al, area. Thus yesterday was as I tweeted "the one day of the year that everyone in state is equally belligerent." There are exceptions to this, like my history prof. who could really care less.

I have worked on saturday this entire football season, on top of this I have schoolwork and business as a Student leader when I'm not working. So when it came to be football time this season, I was nowhere to be found. Till yesterday. I watched the game, well the first half of the first quarter. As an Auburn fan I felt nauseous. I asked myself, why? As some pregame I will tell you that when I was younger I was physically upset by football sometimes. So I had thought about this recently and not experienced it. Till yesterday.

I had thought that the nausea may be caused by the fear of dealing with obnoxious Bama fans. Or by being emotionally tied to the game. Recently on the way back from Toccoa falls Ga with my campus pastor and close friend, I participated in discussion about why men did not come to Church. Identity was one of the ideas tossed about. Here is where I think my football insecurities come from, ultimately I think in the back of my head the fear of being ostracized from Bama fans or others because of my Auburn fanship has the direct correlation with my nausea. My identity and acceptance are on the line for a year, a year of shrugging saying next year, of being really annoyed and on edge. I really don't care about football, it is not important, not to me at least. But this game one game a year has myself and others visibly upset. I think we need to find health in sports. As spectators, we can't let a game ruin our weeks, months, or year if it does, I think you may have issues.

I think often we tie our identity with media consumption, as my pastor would say how repulsive is it to be called a consumer, your designated as someone who consumes things, and that is all you are in some peoples' minds'. So don't add to it by actually finding your identity in media. Find it in Jesus, he who gave his life and gives his righteousness.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Worship & Community

Are we beginning to commend ourselves again? We don’t need letters of recommendation to you or from you as some other people do, do we? You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone, revealing that you are a letter of Christ, delivered by us, written not with ink but by the Spirit of the living God, not on stone tablets but on tablets of human hearts.

2 Corinthians 3:1-3 (NET) 

Paul is speaking to a Church here, a messed up Church, one that doubted his apostleship. His point is that he doesn't need a letter of commendation. This is because the Corinthian Church is his letter, their existence is authenticating his work. Their existence communicates something. Their existence was communication. 

I was worshipping this morning and I noticed that people were shut off, eyes closed, it was them and Jesus, no one else. The thought popped into my brain that in this passage it was the people who communicated a needed truth. 

It is our brothers and sisters who warm our hearts and attest the truth of the Gospel. My brothers are there because of God's grace, my sisters are there because of Christ's faithfulness, I am there by the Spirit's prompting and conviction. This is an attestation of a beautiful truth; the gospel is so much bigger than me and Jesus, it is for God's glory and encompasses many others. 

To shut ourselves off from others in worship is to deny a communication by God. One that authenticates the gospel, one that nourishes the Church.

Christ is also seen as the writer, they are Christ's letter. He communicated something through his faithfulness, through his choosing, through his gathering a Church together. We are his, we see his faithfulness while we worship in others.

Now is there an aspect of individuality in Christianity? Yes. In Christian worship? Yes. Is there an aspect of Church in Christianity? Yes. Is there an aspect of Church in worship? Yes. 

There is a balance don't abuse it. 

Grace, Faith and the Restaurant Biz.

Sone may or may not know that I recently became employed by a restaurant, this has allowed for interesting moments. The other day was a day of firsts, my first "Roll Tide" from a mountain brook socialite as a response to my "have a nice day ma'am." Then I brought a man his meal, I said "enjoy your meal sir." He said "You too! Wait your not eating..." As priceless as those were there was another on the same day. I had a realization about Church, life, and Christian Community.

I took a woman her food, her salad wasn't supposed to have red onions, I offered to take it back. She very sullenly and almost aggressively told me "I'll pick them off; this time." It struck me because although it appeared as though she was gracious (she didn't accept the offer to fix it) she wasn't. She was wronged, and she wanted me to know it.

It was a realization because it was an experience I had not had in a while. In the time since the last time it happened I have developed the tools to communicate this experience. I attribute this to my growth at my School. It is a very gracious community I often find myself a part of, and I am thankful.

There wasn't an echo of grace in the woman's speech, and the last time I had heard that there wasn't either. And the last time was at work, work at a Church, no grace, no Christ likeness. It was bothersome then, but I'd never would've confronted someone about it. Now it was my instinct, this was not Christlike, and I felt like I needed to confront this woman to aid in her sanctification.

Lastly I will add this, the Church I was at when this was a common occurrence needs to learn to do what Christ did, bleed grace. I want to bleed grace, and I want everyone else also to do so. I won't have this; not on this side of the second coming. But as communities we need to realities of grace, first that to image Christ is to be gracious, and second that grace trains in godliness (Titus 2:11-13), not in debauchery.

If you can't see Jesus in the dark, you can't see.

I live in central Alabama, this means if someone sneezes the power goes out. Recently the remnants of some storm came through and nocked out the power. This shows you how much time I have for keeping up with the weather. So yesterday (Wednesday) I attended a College ministry I often attend, and they had no power. The service was done by light of a plethora of candles. It was here that the College pastor told a folk type story, it went something like this,


"A revival type preacher in the south was preaching in the 1970's, and he was reaching the climax of a very powerful message, and all the power went out. It was pitch black. He got down because this impediment was assumed to be too much, and someone in the back yelled, 'Keep on preaching preacher! We can see Jesus in the Dark!'" The college pastor then said, "Aren't we thankful that we can see Jesus in the Dark?"


This prompted an immediate tweet from me, but it did so because it struck me. In the dark we see Christ. I have pondered this last night and today, and it brought this to mind.

The robbers who were crucified with him also spoke abusively to him.

Now from noon until three, darkness came over all the land.

At about three o’clock Jesus shouted with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 

 Matt. 27:44-46

It was dark then, during the crucifixion, Jesus on the cross. Atonement was made, God's wrath poured onto Christ, this all happened to Jesus, it happened in the dark. 

I think why this was profound to me was because the place we look back to as our defining moments as Christians, as followers of Christ, is covered in darkness. Victory happened in the dark. If we can't see Jesus in the dark, you can't really see Jesus. 

This was also profound because I see life as a dark place. I mean place in a temporal sense, that life, that existence, that birth are all located in a fallen or synonymously dark world. So we come from a dark world to a dark cross, to see The Light of the World. 

If we can't see Jesus in the dark, we cannot come to the defining moment of Christianity, and if we can't see Jesus in the dark we can't see him from where we are, in the dark world. 

And that is why the beginning to John's gospel is glorious. Because in all this dark the Gospel is glorious light.

In him was life, and the life was the light of mankind.

And the light shines on in the darkness, but the darkness has not mastered it.

John 1:4-5

And if you can't see Jesus in the dark it is because your blind, cause Christ is light. In the dark of the cross and wrath, Christ was glorified. Christ was still The Light of the World.

The Other Twin.

I apologize right now for this blog. The man who taught me to write, taught me to start before I knew where I was taking it.

First I have been reading Fredrick Buechner's "Secrets in the Dark: A Life in Sermons" this work deals fairly openly with doubt and darkness. This probably leads to what I am blogging about today.

I recently read a sermon in this book that discussed doubt, specifically Thomas the doubter. It also proposed that Thomas was called the twin because the other twin is us. Or more concisely Thomas is in us, we share in his doubt.

As I thought about this I imagined myself touching the scars, or even the gaping wound in Christ side. Because that is what I do. I doubt. I doubt scripture. I doubt God's knowledge and goodness. I doubt everything. When I say I doubt, you probably think I mean I have these moments where I am crippled by despair and think everything I believe is a lie. But that isn't what I refer to, no disrespect if you go through that but, I don't. What I mean is this, sin is, if anything, doubt or even lack of trust. As we sin, we show ourselves to not trust God's council, at least when we willfully sin.

As I have read Buechner I see a dichotomy of hope and doubt. This is central and I picture it best with imagery. Derek Webb's famous song Wedding Dress was recalled to my mind as I imagined this scene of Jesus and myself.

"So could you love this bastard child?
Though I don’t trust you to provide
With one hand in a pot of gold
And with the other in your side."

You, I, and every other saint deals with our decisional doubt in this way. Our hands are essentially in Christ side because we don't believe one thing or another.

We must be honest and open about doubt, not closed off and silent. Life is dark. Christ inaugurated the Kingdom in a dark world, and we are to trek in the darkness and expand the Kingdom. If we are saved out of darkness, to go back into darkness, how can we try to hide the darkness in us? And if doubt is anything it is a dark part of our soul from deep down grasping at us to heed it. Decisional doubt is a lack of trust. How much darkness do you carry from your week by yourself? How many bad decisions do you bear alone? How many dark glimpses have thrust their doubting hand in to the scars?

But here is where the Gospel is for you Christian, Jesus loved Thomas, Jesus laid his life down for Thomas, Jesus Bore the wrath of God for Thomas. Thomas may have seen Jesus' face through his own tears, and Christ's own scars. But he saw Christ when he was a believer, as do we. Buechner said that perhaps we were the other twin. I say that the "we" that Buechner talks about is the we of believers, so the beauty of the Gospel is that Christ died for both twins, Thomas, and the Church. Who are at the heart of things, in one form or another, a group of doubters saved by grace through Christ's redemptive work.

Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored, 

may your kingdom come, 

may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread,

and forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors.

And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. 

Logic, Emotions, and Spirituality

I feel often that the perception of myself as a logical being is negative, also the perception connotes the idea that I am insensitive and if pressed this idea would fumble down the slippery slope to my being unspiritual. I do not think myself unspiritual.

This blog will be wide ranging in content, it will include; Critical examination of culture, experience, scripture, and theology.

I have myself observed within myself and others that the term Spirituality connotes two ideas in our culture. Namely these are emotion and experience. I quibble with the former and not the latter, and I also think proper spirituality involves other more important qualities. When one hears things like "...my spirituality...", "In my spirit I feel this...", and even "I am convicted by this.", "I was moved by that." one thinks these experiences profound and even hesitate to ask anything, because this is authoritative for that person. We think it improper to question things said like this, especially if shrouded in Biblical language.

I have a friend who has often asked the question to people, "Validate your experience with Scripture." Namely if it doesn't happen to New Covenant believers in Scripture, and it doesn't meet the scriptural guidelines he will pose the question.

Due to my logical nature when people say something spiritual against logical prudence, I either almost burst out laughing or write them off, occasionally if close to this person I will address flaws in thought.

But in an overarching way there is what I think a misnomer of thought. Morality, the idea and study of what is right and wrong. In this study and in our practices I think we have to be diligent especially in Christian morality. I think it is foolish to live your life based on emotions, you become unstable (something I will illustrate later). Yet I will say that being wise, logical, and scriptural is the way to live ones life and make decisions. I do give a caution to people that this is not a license to be emotionally unattached to people or the church. But the idea that you make decisions based on how you feel is ridiculous and not satisfactorily livable.

So far I have made claims in a detached manner, I will now attach this blog to myself. I have made a personality change, I was a person who made decisions based on emotions, now I do so based on logic. To be fair I understand that this is major, it is the way you live your life, something that does not just change overnight. It did not change overnight for myself. I was a senior in high school, I was in love, and I did everything based on how I feel including spirituality. Then my little world came crashing down, and through the process my illusions about life were dispersed. With this I started living life based on logic, slowly over time, especially within the last school year having moved off on my own and dealing with quite a lot of life issues, I have continued to disperse these illusions. This included painful realizations that everything within me wanted to counter. Yet dispersed they are.

The best logic isn't contradictory, the best feelings can be. Decisions lead to actions. Basis for decision is tied to either and sometimes both feeling and logic. Actions cannot be unmade once action has been taken. Action requires decision. Contradictory decisions are problematic. Thus, making the basis for decisions feelings is unwise.

I learned this the hard way, I have friends who refuse to learn this, I exhort you to learn this. Yet concerning Spirituality a friend of mine has been dealing with quite a lot, and they were counseled by someone I really respect, as I was talking with them, they quoted something given to them by said counselor, that issues and morality aren't based on some feeling but on scripture. This coupled with a professor today who was convicted in feeling by something that is demonstrably something there is no reason to be convicted for.

This feeling something is subservient to logic and scholarship. You need to know why something is wrong before you pronounce it that way, you need to know why you make a decision before you do.

Scripture and logic in study of morality should be how we make decisions, not your disposition toward something. I will advocate three things in an exhortation to all Orthodoxy, Orthopathy, and Orthopraxy. Orthodox: Doctrine(thinking, logic), Practice, and Feeling, these should all flow from one another, strive for these in life brothers and sisters.

Prescriptive or Useless?

Okay so most people know I play advocate for Christian Liberties, and what some deem vices. And judging by this blog's pics for today you may assume that is what I am arguing for. You'd be dead wrong.

I love my roommate, even though we just finished arguing, I love him. He said something the

other day that prompted me to think. We have a mutual friend who isn't saved, we were spending time with him, and through this met his other non-saved friends. These people cursed, drank, smoked, and had no clue of any transcendent direction for their life. These aren't even churched laity these are the unchurched common folks. Myself and my roommate sat for awhile we listened made awkward small talk being the introverts we are. But ultimately we met lost people, genuinely lost people. But these were the average Americans.

I didn't think much of it, I am largely detached from the mindset of Church laity these days. I spend my time in scholarly and devotional Christianity, and no time in mainstream or "pop" Christianity. So when my roommate said one phrase I was unprepared. He stated this on our ride later that night, "Regular believers wouldn't hang out with those people, that is what I loved about investing in non-believers" This isn't verbatim but is the main points he made.

I was at a lost, we were that unique? Regular believers don't do this? Then I started to think, I have said all my life since I felt called to ministry "don't expect pagans to act like believers" its dumb. But through this I forgot that we do ask them to lay down everything in our presence. We walk in knowing we have the cure for their brokenness but offended that they are "Broken." I have no problem with anyone who isn't an addict smoking, drinking etc. but we do get offended even with unbelievers.

My thoughts immediately go to Christ, he hung out with Jews yes, but not the Jews you would think. He hung out with tax collectors who were most likely rigidly dishonest, whores, and the poor and marginalized. Never once did Jesus ask them to not be broken, he offered a way out of brokenness altogether, he told them "Follow me." He wasn't offended in his holiness, he was moved to compassion. Christ loved them, invested in them, and died for some fairly wretched people.

So aren't we called to be like Christ?

Recently due to some thoughts from a College ministry I attend I have started picturing kingdom imagery in Christianity and specifically evangelism and mission. To be simple I will give a brief summary of the pertinent ideas here. Christ when he came inaugurated the Kingdom of God and when he returns he will fulfill it and bring it to its full extent. Ergo the Church is left to manifest Christ as best as possible in an uphill battle against culture until Christ's return. So the fate of those people at the pool relies on God election yes, but secondarily on God using the Church's witness.

So my main question becomes this, how as the Church have we become so easily offended that we have rendered ourselves ineffective? (I will say if you interact with genuinely lost people you are partially exempt). See the truth is the Church as broken as it is, remains God's manifestation of his Gospel. Therefore the Church is either prescriptive or useless.

I revert back to an earlier assessment of the people we were with, they had no awareness of a transcendent direction to their life. But I guarantee you they suffer from the damning effects of the curse. Not a man or woman is exempt. God divinely designed the common wrath of the curse to point toward Christ. So as the Church holding the key to the repealation of the Curse, namely Christ, we hold this away from broken people because we are offended? Or because we can't have those people around our kids?

I ask you to reflect on why you and anything else exists, if you are reformed you answer will be along the lines of "For God's glory" well so do your kids, and so do you. Drop your offense invest and care for these people. Share of yourself with them, and share the Gospel.

Namely this blog is to inform and implore you. To implore you to action, do not be so offended but bear offense for the Gospel at the very least, and share Christ with these people. They need it, you have it. I don't care if they try to stone you, because Paul didn't care about that he went right back to them. So should your and my devotion be to the mission of God.

Thoughts on some pop culture trends.

Recently I have

been pondering a dynamic shift I have noticed. As a Sci-Fy fan I enjoy shows, new, old, cancelled, successful, and failed. I was watching firefly with a friend, I went to make my lunch and a realization dawned on me. We as a society and a generation especially have shifted from Star Trek to Firefly from Dragnet to Dexter.

Some would ask what are they substantial differences in these? They all are harmless entertainment. I rebut this and say culture is an indicator of mindset. And the difference is key. James Kirk was a renegade member who used unorthodox tactics and was a brave man. Brave and valiant, courageous and cunning, yet on the side of good.

On the adverse Captain Malcolm 'Mal' Reynolds is an outlaw, who occasionally does good yet is the protagonist. Let the reader know I am not an avid Firefly watcher. But heroes on the wrong side of the law, with flaws, with glaring holes in their morality, this is a huge indicator of who we are.

As a part of this generation that has brought about this paradigm shift I immediately want to jump into a defense of this trend and say "It is more realistic" but is it? Do we esteem vigilante justice? Do we really have the morals of our movies and shows?

Batman, in the olden days Batman fought as a hero, there was the Bat signal on the roof of the police station. In Chris Nolan's latest Batman it closes with this, "Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A Dark Night."

We will hunt him because he can take it? Doesn't sound like a clean cut justice system to me. Doesn't sound like the Batman I grew up with. Something changed.

Dexter is the clearest example of what I mean a serial killer killing serial killers, not putting them behind bars through the law. He isn't the cop we grew up with in cop shows.

So what does this all indicate? What does it all mean? Who are we as a culture and what does this reveal? The paradigm shift indicates two things; First, we as a culture have departed from traditional justice roles, and traditional unrealistic hope. Second, we have also departed from traditional morality, and perhaps we have grown to love depravity.

This final point is a serious accusation, have we as a culture grown to love depravity and slipped it under the radar as real life? I think to a level we have. I don't want to sound like a fundamentalist who is grasping at unrealistic hope. I also do not want to sound like an antinomian who thinks we can watch whatever and call it realistic. I think we as Christians need to be careful as to what we watch, and realize that there is a shift in secular morality. But as the manifestation of God's Kingdom we need to counter this cultural shift with the realism of the Gospel. We have a new set of justice, God is perfectly just also as he fulfills his kingdom justice reigns forever! As Christians who come out of the world we need to be able to meet the mindsets and counter that it is Christ who is making all things new (Revelation 21:5).